Learning to Breathe

How deep breathing helps to calm your body and mind.

“I’m going to teach you how to breathe” is a phrase I often state at the start of therapy with a new client. It is most generally met with a puzzled look, as if to say, “I know how to breath, I’ve been doing it all of my life.” True. But to deep breathe, or do diaphragmatic breathing, as it’s technically called, is an entirely different thing. And it is so powerful, I find myself teaching it to just about everyone who sits on my therapy couch, regardless of why they are there.

Belly breathing, as it’s often called, relies on using your entire abdomen, including your diaphragm to breathe. It is the deliberate slowing and deepening of each breath meant to soothe and calm you. Hence the often spouted, but rarely followed (or at least followed correctly) advice to “take a deep breath.” The instructions are deceptively simple. Sit (or lie) comfortably, close your eyes, place one hand on your chest and one your belly, and take a long, slow deep breath through your nose and allow you belly to expand, making room in your abdomen for as deep a breath as is comfortable. Then, constrict your diaphragm or belly muscles, allowing your belly to sink in as you gently, slowly and deliberately exhale. Now repeat for 5–10 minutes. Tada!!

Sounds easy, no? Well, it’s often not so easy, at least not in the beginning. The biggest obstacle is your wandering mind. So pay attention to where it is at an given moment in your practice, and if it wanders, gently catch it and bring it back to the breath. A trick for beginners may be to focus on your hands: the hand on your belly should move up and down with each breath, the hand on your chest, not so much. In other words, you are trying to move your breath away from you chest and into your belly, as “chest breathing” is what your body does when it is frightened, anxious, or crying, and we are going for the opposite!

So, back to my therapy room. In that moment when I tell people I’m going to teach them to breathe, and they look at me with suspicion, I then try to teach them why this little, tiny, simple exercise is so tremendously powerful. To deep breathe is your single most effective way of calming your entire nervous system, which then soothes your mind, and eases your emotions.

Here why and how it works:

Your nervous system is comprised of two parts: the gas and the breaks. The gas is called your Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS), the breaks are your Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS). The gas, as you would imagine, pumps you up and gets you ready for movement and action. However, too much gas and your car speeds up uncontrollably and dangerously. The brakes help you slow down and regain control. The SNS and the PNS are constantly humming in the background of your day and night. They are constantly responding to your surrounding and your inner experiences. The trick however, is to keep them well balanced. Enough gas that you can get up and go, but not so much that you are a speeding ball of anxiety.

Here’s the catch, the SNS, or gas part of the system, doesn’t need much help from you. It watches the internal and external environment and sends signals through your body and brain pumping you full of hormones (think adrenaline) in order to respond to the demands it encounters. Be it catching your train to work in the morning, paying your bills on time, responding to the rude person who tried to cut in front of you in line at the grocery store, or respond to the rude person inside your head telling you how dumb/ugly/stupid/useless/fat etc., you are. The PNS, or brakes, on the other hand could use a little help. This is where belly breathing comes in.

Your nervous system is comprised of a serious of organs and bodily functions. Breathing, heart beat, digestion and blood flow are some of them. You may notice that these functions are precisely those most affected when you are stressed out. And while I can’t tell you to slow down your heart beat or improve the blood flow to your limbs, I can tell you to alter your breathing. And because this is a closed system, alter your breathing and you alter your entire nervous system. Brilliant, no?

When we are anxious, frightened, or in deep distress our body moves into what we usually call “fight or flight” response. That entire system we were just talking about springs into action preparing you to run away from or fight the threat. However, now a days, that threat is rarely an animal much larger than us that may want to eat us, but instead it’s the looming pressure of a deadline, or the creeping feelings of inadequacy, or the gut-wrenching pain of heartache. And for these threats, your body doesn’t really need all of that gas (or adrenaline) pumping through it. In essence your Sympathetic Nervous System is in overdrive and your Parasympathetic Nervous System struggles to keep up. Your brakes could use a little help from you. And here again comes the point that you can’t deliberately slow your heart rate down. But, you can change your breath! So the bottom line, is change your breath and you change your entire nervous system response. Engage your PNS and you can create a sense of calm in your body, which ultimately translates to a calmer brain and more positive emotions. The next time you are feeling overwhelmed by the world, take 5 minutes in a quite room and try some deep breathing, your mind and mood will thank you.