How to take control of your burnout

Photo by Cassidy Kelley on Unsplash

Most of us know the feeling. Sometimes it comes on slowly, creeping in a little at a time; sometimes it feels like it was dropped on our head before we even realized it was coming. We start to feel tired, lethargic, uninspired and have difficulty concentrating. We no longer feel as interested or motivated by our job and it starts to show in our job performance. It requires even more energy to accomplish the tasks you used to accomplish without the extra effort and the job, maybe even the job you used to love, starts to feel like a drain, an impossible uphill climb. Burnout may even start showing up in your personal life as you become more irritable, a bit apathetic, and less energized by things that used to inspire, excite, and motivate you.

The problem with burnout, aside form how awful it feels, is that it can easily become a self-perpetuating cycle. The more burned out you are, the less well you work, the less well you work, the higher the stress gets, the tighter the deadlines, and the more fatigued you become, looping right back to the cause of burnout. Basically, everything starts to feel too heavy, too difficult. Even things you used to enjoy are suddenly bereft of joy, pleasure, or inspiration. And the longer you stay in this place, there harder it is to get out. I think burnout is a bit like quicksand, once you’ve set foot in it, it quickly starts pulling you under, and it does the same thing to your surroundings, anything within arm’s reach is suddenly prey.

We all have different reasons for burnout, but according to science, it’s caused by chronic stress combined with not enough resources to deal with those demands. I personally think the main culprit is a society that constantly demands more of us. Workaholism as a badge of honor these days. More work, more effort, more efficient, always striving to do better, to do more, to be more indispensable. And although this approach may work well for your resume, your boss, and capitalism at large, it does not work so well for your psyche. I’ve said it again and again on my posts, our brains are not designed to always be on, active, engaged, productive. Our brains need rest and quiet, a chance to slow down and recover. And while rest and recovery may seem like a luxury you just can’t afford, the bad news is you have no choice. The good news is you have no choice. Burnout spreads like a disease and if you don’t address it, it will only grow and expand until you are rendered powerless in its grip. To ignore the signs of burnout is a dangerous game. Sure, you may be able to push yourself through with mere will and determination for some time, but at some point, it will catch up and you will have to pay attention and do something about it.

While burnout is a symptom of a wide-spread systemic problem related to our culture and the institutions we work for, this does not mean you have to wait until they change in order for you to address its personal impact.

But how? Let’s break it down.

1. Figure out what the burnout is telling you. I often tell my clients to use their emotions as a source of information, a GPS for your psyche. If a feeling keeps coming up, chances are it’s got something to tell you, that you’ve somehow gone off course. Your emotions are guides telling you where you are going wrong, what you need more of, what you need less of, what is or isn’t working. The point is to start listening to your feelings for what they are really trying to tell you rather than just ignoring them, shutting them down and hoping they will go away. They don’t. So, as cheesy as it may sound, befriend your feelings as incredibly important sources of information.
2. Take note of what you find. Your burnout is telling you exactly what you need to know. Once you know what isn’t working, you can get to work on addressing it. And, while you may not be able to do exactly what it’s requesting of you (“Quit your job!”) chances are that you will be able to find helpful information and reasonable steps to start meeting some of those needs.
3. Make a list. Write down a list of what is standing in the way of you enjoying your job and/or obligations, both at work and at home. Under each category, create small actionable steps to start relieving some of the pressure. This may be as simple as saying no to a couple of projects, personal or professional, or asking a friend, coworker, or boss for a little extra help and support. It may mean something much larger which may seem overwhelming at first, but breaking it down into smaller and more manageable steps can help. Keeping a list will also help you stay accountable, something you can reference back to you to help you stay on track.
4. Take a break. Seriously, take a mental health day, a vacation, or whatever is within your reach. Block out the weekend and focus entirely on recovering. Even laundry and chores can wait a bit. I personally think that taking a break is possibly the most important thing you can do as it will provide you with the capacity to try all the other tips on this list. Without proper rest, they will all feel like just one more thing you have to do that you don’t have the time or energy for.
5. Get enough sleep. Research suggests that getting less than six hours of sleep per night is a major risk factor for burnout, especially since too little sleep can have negative effects on your job performance and productivity. Lack of sleep also leads to fatigue, decreased motivation and impairs your overall mental function, as well as your resilience (ability to “bounce back” from stressful events). It also impacts your attention and concentration making you more likely to make mistakes, take longer to complete tasks and overall just perform less well than you would if you’d gotten enough sleep. So, as infantilizing at it sounds, give yourself a bedtime and stick to it! Reminder, if you are used to going to sleep at 1 am, trying to go to bed by 11 isn’t going to happen overnight. Instead, try altering your bedtime by about 15–20 minutes every couple of days until you get to your desired bedtime.
6. Learn to rest and relax. This means you have time every single day where you do nothing. Not work, not run errands, not scroll Twitter. To really unwind you need to learn to unplug, both literally and metaphorically. Try taking a walk, a bath, listening to music, meditating, or playing with your pet. Having a little bit of time each day where the pure goal is your simple rest and enjoyment will go a long way to help you recharge on the daily.
7. Unplug from work. Take as much time as you can to have “off hours,” meaning hours where you don’t check your work email or address work issues. Maybe you can’t shut it off till 10 pm, maybe you can turn it off at 7 pm. Whatever time it is, use it to your advantage by deciding you won’t check work email past that time, or simply setting the Do Not Disturb or the Screen Time function on your phone. The simple act of turning these features on will provide s great sense of power and control which can go a long way to countering the impact of burnout.
8. Exercise. Cardio is one of the most effective and quickest ways of using up adrenaline, the main stress hormone. A good cardio session will do wonders for your stress levels, but note that the effects are rather short-lived. One cardio session a week will likely not be enough to counter the daily stress you face. Try working out at least 3 times a week especially during those particularly stressful days. All you need is about 20 minutes to counter the psychological and physical impacts of stress and anxiety. Caveat: working out too close to bedtime may interfere with your sleep, so try working out earlier in the day if at all possible.
9. Cultivate a non-work life. Finding activities that are not related to work and which bring you joy, passion or relaxation is crucial. However, this may be a later step as it entails doing more rather than less, so I’d save it for after you’ve tackled the restorative practices of rest, relaxing, and unplugging.
10. Learn to say no. This is a big one. No, a HUGE one. Learning to say no is the single biggest action you can take. Unfortunately, learning to say no can be quite difficult and would be the subject of an entire other blog post, but keep this one in mind. It may be something to work on with your therapist.
11. Learn to give up control and perfectionism. Often times we do more than is needed. And while it may be your boss who is driving this, you’d be surprised how many times it’s our small but very loud internal voice, judging, criticizing, and making us feel that unless we are perfect, we are just not good enough. Perhaps these are beliefs and distortions you can challenge yourself but don’t be afraid to seek out the help of a therapist, this is our jam!
12. Figure out when it’s not you. While there are many things you can personally work on to address burnout, oftentimes there are very real and very external reasons for your burnout that are beyond your control. In a survey conducted by APA’s Psychologically Healthy Workplace Program, two-thirds of employees surveyed reported their jobs had cut down on resources, meaning there is more work to go around fewer people. This may be a very real pressure you are facing and while it may not be within your control, staying at the job may. Of course, this statement comes with great privilege, not everyone can just quit their job and find a new one. But chances are you may at least benefit from asking yourself this question: is it time to find a new job? If the answer is even a barely audible “yes”, you owe it to yourself to at least ponder this option.
13. Take a mental health break. Many jobs offer what is known as EAP, or Employee Assistance Programs which allow you to obtain a handful of therapy sessions at no cost to you. This is a good way to assess whether therapy may be helpful to you and if so, it’s an easy entry-way into services. Alternatively, you can go through your private insurance to seek mental health services which can help you gain clarity on what is burning you out, delineate steps to tackle the problem and provide you with support at you try to create these important but difficult changes in your life.